[open]

[redheadcarrier]

CHARACTERS: Asuka Langley Soryu and you.
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: Day: 048
SUMMARY: Asuka hasn't had a good time emotionally; she tries to distract herself by overworking.
WARNINGS: Potential mention of suicide, suicidal ideation, death.

[ Her conversations with Misato didn't go anywhere. Or at least they didn't go anywhere that would help Asuka resolve the teeming mass of uncomfortable hollowness that permeates her. Every last bit of her old self-worth feels as if it's been ground out of her, squeezed by her death, by Third Impact, and now by Misato, until she's been left flailing and trying to grasp onto something - anything - that will let her keep her head above water. She has a new purpose now, so at least there's that. There are new people around her. Some of them are even decent, but she tries not to let on that she likes some of them.

Of course, with Adra and Lavellan, it's almost impossible for her to keep that way. They're a constant presence at the back of her mind. Warm light and a familiar feeling of frustration and loss, respectively. The feelings she associates with them now and the emotions that creep in when she tries to pay attention to their buzzing, humming presence. She's adapted, too. She's found that she can tune out the voices if she wants, but that simply letting them fade into the background of her head is almost easier.

Asuka's not sure how she feels about that.

There's nothing for her to do yet and she feels antsy and on edge and if she sits too long, her mind is going to start crawling down into dark places and it'll take her with it. So she moves. She decides to train, because she's here to fight a war and if she has to fight, she's going to be ready. They have a gym and she's using it now, going through a routine. Running, acrobatics, exercises, and a barrage of punches and kicks that are aimed at the punching bag there. Her form is a bit sloppy, but there's real muscle memory to it - like a fighter who coming back after an injury. It's also a bit strange to see a five-foot nothing teenager going after said punching bag with the viciousness of a cornered animal, teeth gritted, breath hissing between her teeth, anger and frustration rolling out of her with every blow until she leaves herself panting and out of breath, still glaring at the punching bag as if it somehow personally offended her.

She spits out a few choice curse-words in German, but she welcomes the feeling of physical exhaustion that washes over her and radiates out through the hive link. Better than the alternative. ]

[OOC: Will potentially ad more prompts later; if you'd like to hit her somewhere else, just wildcard it. ]

Comments

[redheadcarrier]

[ Great. It doesn't even phase him. Her expression is sour and closed off and she folds her arms with an irritated glint in her eye. ]

Asuka Langley Soryu.

[ He's still here. ]

What do you want?

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ Once again, she reminds him of Kavinsky, pissed that she couldn't get a rise out of him - but where Kavinsky'd come back around and try again, she closes off. ]

There's not a lot of us here and we all gotta live together, it's smart to know who everyone is and what they do. And, look - there's a hell of a lot of anger and frustration bleeding out here, on top of you going pretty hard there.

[redheadcarrier]

So deal with it. Not my problem that you're bothered.

[ She makes a little 'hmmph' sound and tosses her hair over one shoulder. ]

Just mind your own business, why don't you?

[sizeofyourbaggage]

It's your problem if you don't want people coming to check to see what's up. It's a hive mind, people's business becomes everyone else's pretty damn quick.

[ But she's not the first one who's wanted to have it both ways, to vent her anger on everyone and then get more pissed when people reacted to it. ]

[redheadcarrier]

They can learn to ignore it.

[ Everyone always did back home. And she was fine with that, at least for a while. As long as she could keep pretending she was OK and as long as she had her precious pilot slot, she would be fine. Here, things are a bit different. ]

Just like I'm ignoring everyone else.

[sizeofyourbaggage]

You're stuck in a space station living with a couple of dozen other people who you're mentally linked to and share thoughts and emotions with, and your plan is to ignore them all and hope they ignore you indefinitely?

[ To be fair, that's a lot of people's plans. But that doesn't mean it's ever worked. ]

[redheadcarrier]

Do you have anything useful to say?

[ Asuka grimaces and starts stretching herself out, trying very hard not to listen to Sam. ]

They'll deal with it or they won't. Still not my problem.

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Would you listen even if I did?

[ He shakes his head, pausing for a moment to take a drink from his water bottle. ]

They're gonna make it your problem. Ignoring everyone here isn't gonna make anyone go away, especially if you're not planning on just sitting at home waiting during every mission.

[redheadcarrier]

Like I said, I'll deal with it.

[ Her irritation flares again and she takes a sort of pleasure in blasting it to everyone in range. Let them feel how she's feeling. ]

They don't have to like me to work with me, right?

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ Honestly, he's almost tempted to open his connection a little, to feel more of what she's clearly shoving on the Nest in general, bleed out some of his own feelings back.

But he doesn't. ]

It sure doesn't hurt. Maybe not like, but it's hard to work with someone trying to ignore everyone. They're not military here.

[redheadcarrier]

We're fighting a war, aren't we? So maybe they should act like it.

[ Says the fourteen-year-old. As much as she despises a lot of her NERV experience at this point, she sort of misses the structure. It was easy to know what to do and she had a clear enemy. Here? Not so much. People want to get touchy-feely with her. ]

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Pretty sure we're fighting more than one war, here, but honestly, I agree. Not a lot of people act like.

[ A lot of them aren't military or anything like it, is the problem, and those that are have different ideas on what fighting a war means. It's not bad, exactly, it just means that there's a lot of fracturing and splintering and fighting. ]

What do you think they should act like?

[redheadcarrier]

Like we're actually going to have to do something eventually. Just because nothing is happening now doesn't mean we sit around.

[ Tests, tests, training, and tests. That was her life for the longest time. Hard to break out of the mold. ]

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ Honestly, he can't exactly protest. He's the one getting up before the Station even lights up for "day" to do his own training. ]

Now that you might find is a pretty popular opinion around here. Most people got their own training regiments, it just seems to fall apart when it comes to putting it together for missions.

[redheadcarrier]

People are idiots.

[ And so is Asuka, but that doesn't stop her from passing judgement. ]

Whatever. I'll win on my own if I have to.