Asuka Langley Soryu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redheadcarrier) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
station722017-06-08 02:39 pm
redheadcarrier) wrote in station722017-06-08 02:39 pm
[open]
CHARACTERS: Asuka Langley Soryu and you.
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: Day: 048
SUMMARY: Asuka hasn't had a good time emotionally; she tries to distract herself by overworking.
WARNINGS: Potential mention of suicide, suicidal ideation, death.
[ Her conversations with Misato didn't go anywhere. Or at least they didn't go anywhere that would help Asuka resolve the teeming mass of uncomfortable hollowness that permeates her. Every last bit of her old self-worth feels as if it's been ground out of her, squeezed by her death, by Third Impact, and now by Misato, until she's been left flailing and trying to grasp onto something - anything - that will let her keep her head above water. She has a new purpose now, so at least there's that. There are new people around her. Some of them are even decent, but she tries not to let on that she likes some of them.
Of course, with Adra and Lavellan, it's almost impossible for her to keep that way. They're a constant presence at the back of her mind. Warm light and a familiar feeling of frustration and loss, respectively. The feelings she associates with them now and the emotions that creep in when she tries to pay attention to their buzzing, humming presence. She's adapted, too. She's found that she can tune out the voices if she wants, but that simply letting them fade into the background of her head is almost easier.
Asuka's not sure how she feels about that.
There's nothing for her to do yet and she feels antsy and on edge and if she sits too long, her mind is going to start crawling down into dark places and it'll take her with it. So she moves. She decides to train, because she's here to fight a war and if she has to fight, she's going to be ready. They have a gym and she's using it now, going through a routine. Running, acrobatics, exercises, and a barrage of punches and kicks that are aimed at the punching bag there. Her form is a bit sloppy, but there's real muscle memory to it - like a fighter who coming back after an injury. It's also a bit strange to see a five-foot nothing teenager going after said punching bag with the viciousness of a cornered animal, teeth gritted, breath hissing between her teeth, anger and frustration rolling out of her with every blow until she leaves herself panting and out of breath, still glaring at the punching bag as if it somehow personally offended her.
She spits out a few choice curse-words in German, but she welcomes the feeling of physical exhaustion that washes over her and radiates out through the hive link. Better than the alternative. ]
[OOC: Will potentially ad more prompts later; if you'd like to hit her somewhere else, just wildcard it. ]
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: Day: 048
SUMMARY: Asuka hasn't had a good time emotionally; she tries to distract herself by overworking.
WARNINGS: Potential mention of suicide, suicidal ideation, death.
[ Her conversations with Misato didn't go anywhere. Or at least they didn't go anywhere that would help Asuka resolve the teeming mass of uncomfortable hollowness that permeates her. Every last bit of her old self-worth feels as if it's been ground out of her, squeezed by her death, by Third Impact, and now by Misato, until she's been left flailing and trying to grasp onto something - anything - that will let her keep her head above water. She has a new purpose now, so at least there's that. There are new people around her. Some of them are even decent, but she tries not to let on that she likes some of them.
Of course, with Adra and Lavellan, it's almost impossible for her to keep that way. They're a constant presence at the back of her mind. Warm light and a familiar feeling of frustration and loss, respectively. The feelings she associates with them now and the emotions that creep in when she tries to pay attention to their buzzing, humming presence. She's adapted, too. She's found that she can tune out the voices if she wants, but that simply letting them fade into the background of her head is almost easier.
Asuka's not sure how she feels about that.
There's nothing for her to do yet and she feels antsy and on edge and if she sits too long, her mind is going to start crawling down into dark places and it'll take her with it. So she moves. She decides to train, because she's here to fight a war and if she has to fight, she's going to be ready. They have a gym and she's using it now, going through a routine. Running, acrobatics, exercises, and a barrage of punches and kicks that are aimed at the punching bag there. Her form is a bit sloppy, but there's real muscle memory to it - like a fighter who coming back after an injury. It's also a bit strange to see a five-foot nothing teenager going after said punching bag with the viciousness of a cornered animal, teeth gritted, breath hissing between her teeth, anger and frustration rolling out of her with every blow until she leaves herself panting and out of breath, still glaring at the punching bag as if it somehow personally offended her.
She spits out a few choice curse-words in German, but she welcomes the feeling of physical exhaustion that washes over her and radiates out through the hive link. Better than the alternative. ]
[OOC: Will potentially ad more prompts later; if you'd like to hit her somewhere else, just wildcard it. ]
no subject
Do I need a reason?
[ His tone's mild. He doesn't mind reiterating himself. He'll have this conversation as many times as she needs it. ]
no subject
[ Which is her way of saying that she doesn't quite believe it herself. ]
Everyone wants something.
no subject
[ He remembers her saying that before, too. ]
Well, what I want is for you to be safe and happy. Seems like a long term project.
no subject
Don't say things like that, you idiot.
[ She drops her hands so she can stretch, turning away so she doesn't have to look at him. This is stupid. ]
I don't need you to be happy. Or safe.
no subject
That's the thing about caring for other people--it's not based on reciprocity.
no subject
She deflects. ]
Well, I don't need your help. Or you.
[ Which is a lie. They've gone through this. But she can't just let her walls down, can't just accept that this is genuine. What is it that she's learned? That everyone hurts each other? That it's a part of being human? ]
no subject
Unfortunately, I'm here anyway. I guess you'll just have to learn to live with it.
[ He knows she's full of shit. But he's not going to call her on it, not directly. That's not the productive path. ]
no subject
[ Asuka makes a noise somewhere between a scoff and a noise of disgust. Just what she wants - some crazy elf following her around. Well, she sort of does, honestly. If she can't shake him, maybe she can try and make it more palatable. ]
Make yourself useful and get me some water or something.
no subject
There you go.
[ Holding it out. ]
no subject
I - what? You can do that? That - where'd that come from?
[ She takes the bottle and turns it over in her hands, giving it a long once-over. ]
no subject
[ He nods at the bottle. ]
It tastes great, promise.
no subject
[ UGH. She pops the bottle open and takes a quick swig. It is pretty thirst quenching. ]
This stuff isn't going to vanish and take a bunch of my hydration with it, is it?
no subject
[ He grins. ]
That's an impressive education. I don't know much about physics, myself.
no subject
[ She sounds pretty proud of herself, honestly. Which she should be because she managed it when she was twelve. ]
I had to deal with that and pilot training. Piece of cake, though.
no subject
[ He doesn't voice the 'especially for someone so young' subtext. ]
But you seem resilient.
no subject
[ Had to be. Still has to be. She's not going to share her life story with him (not yet), but he can probably get glimpses or concepts. A dead mother, an absent family. Piloting was everything to her. ]
No one else is going to take care of me. [ And I don't want them to. Or maybe she does. ]
no subject
[ He's seen enough--through the fight with Misato, through their own talk--to know that she's had a difficult time. But, hey. Life sucks. ]
But it's not where you are now.
no subject
I'm still there. I don't really know any of you.
[ Lavellan is really the only person here she sort of wants to rely on. But that's because they had a horrifically intimate mind moment and she's not sure what else to do with that. ]
no subject
But that's changing fast, isn't it?
[ Whether they like it or not. ]
no subject
[ She sounds a little grudging, but there's a note of acceptance underneath. ]
I guess I got lucky with you and Lavvy. You're not total idiots.
no subject
[ He's grinning, though. ]
But I'll take it.
no subject
[ The words feel more hollow than they would've a few months ago. Now it's even more posturing than it used to be. And considering that it was mostly posturing then, that tells one something.
It's strange. She doesn't consider him family. Not a father figure or anything like that. But he's - trustworthy? Somehow. She's still suspicious of him, of everyone around her, wary of being burned, of being hurt. But he's made it past the first hurdle. Which is worth something. ]