Asuka Langley Soryu (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
redheadcarrier) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
station722017-06-08 02:39 pm
redheadcarrier) wrote in station722017-06-08 02:39 pm
[open]
CHARACTERS: Asuka Langley Soryu and you.
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: Day: 048
SUMMARY: Asuka hasn't had a good time emotionally; she tries to distract herself by overworking.
WARNINGS: Potential mention of suicide, suicidal ideation, death.
[ Her conversations with Misato didn't go anywhere. Or at least they didn't go anywhere that would help Asuka resolve the teeming mass of uncomfortable hollowness that permeates her. Every last bit of her old self-worth feels as if it's been ground out of her, squeezed by her death, by Third Impact, and now by Misato, until she's been left flailing and trying to grasp onto something - anything - that will let her keep her head above water. She has a new purpose now, so at least there's that. There are new people around her. Some of them are even decent, but she tries not to let on that she likes some of them.
Of course, with Adra and Lavellan, it's almost impossible for her to keep that way. They're a constant presence at the back of her mind. Warm light and a familiar feeling of frustration and loss, respectively. The feelings she associates with them now and the emotions that creep in when she tries to pay attention to their buzzing, humming presence. She's adapted, too. She's found that she can tune out the voices if she wants, but that simply letting them fade into the background of her head is almost easier.
Asuka's not sure how she feels about that.
There's nothing for her to do yet and she feels antsy and on edge and if she sits too long, her mind is going to start crawling down into dark places and it'll take her with it. So she moves. She decides to train, because she's here to fight a war and if she has to fight, she's going to be ready. They have a gym and she's using it now, going through a routine. Running, acrobatics, exercises, and a barrage of punches and kicks that are aimed at the punching bag there. Her form is a bit sloppy, but there's real muscle memory to it - like a fighter who coming back after an injury. It's also a bit strange to see a five-foot nothing teenager going after said punching bag with the viciousness of a cornered animal, teeth gritted, breath hissing between her teeth, anger and frustration rolling out of her with every blow until she leaves herself panting and out of breath, still glaring at the punching bag as if it somehow personally offended her.
She spits out a few choice curse-words in German, but she welcomes the feeling of physical exhaustion that washes over her and radiates out through the hive link. Better than the alternative. ]
[OOC: Will potentially ad more prompts later; if you'd like to hit her somewhere else, just wildcard it. ]
WHERE: The Station
WHEN: Day: 048
SUMMARY: Asuka hasn't had a good time emotionally; she tries to distract herself by overworking.
WARNINGS: Potential mention of suicide, suicidal ideation, death.
[ Her conversations with Misato didn't go anywhere. Or at least they didn't go anywhere that would help Asuka resolve the teeming mass of uncomfortable hollowness that permeates her. Every last bit of her old self-worth feels as if it's been ground out of her, squeezed by her death, by Third Impact, and now by Misato, until she's been left flailing and trying to grasp onto something - anything - that will let her keep her head above water. She has a new purpose now, so at least there's that. There are new people around her. Some of them are even decent, but she tries not to let on that she likes some of them.
Of course, with Adra and Lavellan, it's almost impossible for her to keep that way. They're a constant presence at the back of her mind. Warm light and a familiar feeling of frustration and loss, respectively. The feelings she associates with them now and the emotions that creep in when she tries to pay attention to their buzzing, humming presence. She's adapted, too. She's found that she can tune out the voices if she wants, but that simply letting them fade into the background of her head is almost easier.
Asuka's not sure how she feels about that.
There's nothing for her to do yet and she feels antsy and on edge and if she sits too long, her mind is going to start crawling down into dark places and it'll take her with it. So she moves. She decides to train, because she's here to fight a war and if she has to fight, she's going to be ready. They have a gym and she's using it now, going through a routine. Running, acrobatics, exercises, and a barrage of punches and kicks that are aimed at the punching bag there. Her form is a bit sloppy, but there's real muscle memory to it - like a fighter who coming back after an injury. It's also a bit strange to see a five-foot nothing teenager going after said punching bag with the viciousness of a cornered animal, teeth gritted, breath hissing between her teeth, anger and frustration rolling out of her with every blow until she leaves herself panting and out of breath, still glaring at the punching bag as if it somehow personally offended her.
She spits out a few choice curse-words in German, but she welcomes the feeling of physical exhaustion that washes over her and radiates out through the hive link. Better than the alternative. ]
[OOC: Will potentially ad more prompts later; if you'd like to hit her somewhere else, just wildcard it. ]
no subject
Her own failure is bad enough, but she can temper that with the knowledge that in the end she did all that she could. She made her stand. It was Shinji who failed to prevent Third Impact.
The tragedy is that she thinks Misato understands her all too well and simply doesn't care.
She slowly clambers to her feet, stretching out her limbs. She feels looser. Less tight. And still confused about Misato. There's a wariness to her mind, a slow glance that seems to ask why. ]
Sure. I'm still relearning everything.
[ She "learned" it as the Eva. Now she has to learn it as a human being. ]
What about firearms? You knew how to use that gun you carried, right?
no subject
Don't I know how to use it.
[ The two of them are similar in many ways, including this, pride borne of achievements. Like Asuka, she knows her worth and capabilities and would take every chance to show it off. But praise for Misato is mere amusement, not a lifeline.
Already she begins on her way, turning over her shoulder and gesturing for the girl to follow. ]
Let's go over to utilities and pick out something to practice with.
no subject
Sounds fine.
[ It's going to be a bit strange. But maybe she can channel that anger into something else. ]
I need to be able to do everything I used to do in my Eva.
[ Which means being able to fight and kill. ]
no subject
It's clear for anyone to see: Asuka's worth is tied to her piloting prowess and without it she is nothing, which isn't exactly false. So, here, stripped of her opportunity to pilot a weapon of mass destruction, she would try to reclaim her worth by doing everything she used to do in her Eva. An impossible goal driven by a senseless reasoning. They say madness is doing the same thing over and over and over again, and expecting it all to somehow turn out differently. Well, she can't say she's immune to it either. What smidgen of sympathy she begins to feel for the girl doesn't show on her face, and she doesn't water it, doesn't grow it. Neglect is also a choice.
Misato nods, and continues on her way. ]