mental link;

[shri]

[ Knock-knock -

- or something like the creak of city gates of her wanting to reach out to anyone else in the hive that will respond. ]

( These ability we have aside from communication. I require a trainer for my own.

And a decent explanation of what they are and their pitfalls. I am not familiar with this kind of... magic. )

[ Yeah she can't think of another word for it. ]

Comments

[shri]

[ That first point doesn't even get acknowledgment. That's how good her relationship with those two is. ]

(So it seems for me too. The effects of mine were rather pronounced and immediate. )

[deployed]

[ yikes. ]

( What did it feel like? )

[ No one else gets sick the way Bellamy does. Not that he knows of yet, anyway. ]

[shri]

( I felt nothing. My whole being was empty of happiness, rage, pleasure, sadness. All of it. I felt... nothing. )

[ And to her - it was incomprehensible a state to be in, save that it was happening at all. ]

[deployed]

[ Murphy comes to mind before Bellamy can stop himself. It's whisked away quickly. ]

( Did you trigger it on purpose? Your power? )

[ Accidents happen. Bellamy hadn't meant to use his own the first or even the second time. ]

( All we can do while we're on the planet is try to keep it from happening again so you don't have to deal with the after-effects. )

[shri]

( I simply felt exuberance. A great deal of it. From the race no doubt. )

[ But to that - ]

( No. If I can affect that state of others, then it has a greater use than any concerns about my state of being. That is irrelevant when we have work to do. )

[deployed]

( Your state of being affects all of us. It's useful, but not if it sidelines you after in a way that puts you at risk. )

[shri]

( Then we set someone to mind me to curb the fall out. )

[deployed]

( You want a babysitter? )

[ Bellamy frames it like a joke, but he isn't wholly on board. His own aversion to using his power is fully at play here, supplanted by the lingering concern over the way she'd described the fall out, remembering how those symptoms had presented in Murphy. It strikes him as something to be avoided. ]

[shri]

( It might be required once I have a steadier hold on it. )

[ And concern over herself, is never acceptable. That nothingness might just be a relief to her broodmates. To Elena especially, no hatred or rage, not grief and regret. Just a remove of the self. ]

[deployed]

( I don't think there's any way to get a steadier hold on it. )

[ The symptoms come. The absence of emotion is completely alien to Bellamy; it didn't feel like something that could be gotten used to. ]

( Do you trust any of us to stay with you if it happens? )

[shri]

( Would anyone be interested in being around me when I have no care as to who they are to me? )

[ It's a blessing and curse all at the same time. When you feel nothing, you don't care that you don't care. ]

( I would have no... ah, how would you put it... screen to my words? )

[ Like you ever do, Lakshmi. ]

[deployed]

[ laughs ]

( Then we should make sure you're with someone you like. )

[ minimize the potential for squabbles... ]

[shri]

( Perhaps you and... Master Cohle or Commander Shepard then. )

[ Because ur a good boy. And Rust and Shepard wouldn't give much of a damn what came out of her mouth. ]

[deployed]

( We can switch off. Three's a good amount. One of us should be able to be close by if anything happens, even if the other two can't get away. )

[ This is tacit agreement on Bellamy's part; he wouldn't care what she said or how long it took for her feelings to return. What mattered was keeping her safe. ]

( So long as the two of them agree. )

[shri]

( Ideally this suits to a group situation most of all so that seems feasible. )

[ Ponders a little, because she's already planning of course she is. ]

( They should. They are both singularly dedicated, I've found. I'll speak with them. )

[deployed]

( Alright. )

[ at least this way, there's a plan to safeguard her if she uses her power again. ]

( You aren't going to ask Prince or Cathaway for help, are you? )

[shri]

( No. )


[ Erg, Cathaway. Erg, Prince. ]

[deployed]

( Why? )

[shri]

( My reasons are my own. )

[ read: she got in horrible fights with them both, whoops. ]

[perroquet]

(Rani, you wound me.)

[shri]

[ She hovers, slightly, because what she wants from Gildor is - not in that realm.

( The things she can't ask for come as sensation: the quiet lean in, where she slipped against him like crumbled ash, the fall of her hair over his shoulder, the way she closed her eyes and could feel nothing else but his breathing . Fell against him like she did not have the strength herself up and - ) ]

( It's not then that I need you. )

[perroquet]

(Then, when you are in such a vulnerable and unpredictable state? Music is the heart of emotion, I am confident I can help if you allow me to.)

[ All that she does not ask of him and more, he can provide - he's quite sure of it. ]

[shri]

[ She still feels unsure over but she knows it for what it is... selfish, a need to preserve his presence for herself. ]

( Do you not trust them? Or feel that you will be better suited to it? )

[perroquet]

(Mr. Cohle and Bellamy I trust well enough. I do not know this Commander Shepard, but if they have your trust, then... alright.

Though I must still answer yes, I feel suited to it. I have magic and skills that can potentially bring you back to your senses faster, and I am brood.)

[ He's a bit sour on that note. Sour like the scent of old blood. ]

(You already reject your brood enough, so please.)

[shri]

[ And to that scent, she pulls, hard against the bit she feels shoved into her mouth. Stung by his words, almost, even if she knows the merit of them. ]

( - I must. She will poison us all. Even if no one else will see it. )

[ But saying that, would be too much, she pulls back removed. The slam of those gates, the kick against fences. Because she is herself again, and she will never. ]

( Very well, join me then. )