mental link; the sound of silence

[huntsmachines]

[ Aloy has been trying to ignore that empty buzzing at the back of her head. She never got a chance to know most of her broodmates very well but their presence had been comforting. Now she was alone again. She could ignore it but unlike being alone normally, this one comes with a keen sense of awareness that she is alone and that she shouldn't be. ]

( It's so quiet without the rest of my brood. )

[ It feels strange to say that, but it's true. ]

( What do I do? )

[ She's not using to being connected to anyone this way and she's definitely not used to missing them. ]

Comments

[adamance]

( Be grateful that they aren't dead. That loss is one of the worst to experience, even second hand.

None of us need reminders of our mortality. )

[Lexa doesn't want to consider the type of person she'd be if her broodmates had died instead of simply been lost to nothingness, to a sleep where they can't be reached.

Overcoming that loss is possible, even if difficult. Overcoming feeling them severed may be impossible.]

[huntsmachines]

( I'm grateful for that, yes. )

[ The dread of the fat feeling lingers with Aloy for a moment, then she speaks again. ]

( Mortality is a part of life. Everything returns to the earth eventually. )

[adamance]

( Everyone dies. )[Though she used to live as if she would not, believing wholeheartedly that her spirit would live on.

Now that she knows it can't, at least not here, she is a bit at a loss when it comes to that. What she knows with absolute certainty is that she can't live on. Not like before.]

( But there's no need to rush toward it, or to feel as if a part of you has been lost. ) [It took her too long to learn this.]

[huntsmachines]

( I know. It just feels so strange to me to have this loss happen. I didn't expect it. And it feels... different. Strange. )

[ It's hard for Aloy to pin down exactly what she means and she's searching for the right words, still. ]

[adamance]

( It's rare for it to happen so quickly.

But you have acted on your own before. You're better prepared than most. )

[There is a weird mix of certainty and trepidation with these words, as if she believes what she's saying, but knows what set Aloy off before. Lexa doesn't want to engage in an argument again.]

[huntsmachines]

[ There's a pang of pain there. Remembering someone else who was lost, torn away from her. It had been different, Rost had been closer. But the memory of his death still feels close. It had only been a few weeks, hadn't it? ]

( I am. I don't like it really, but being alone is... normal. But this time I'm not really alone. )

[ She's quiet for a moment. ]

( I have all of you. )

[adamance]

[There is no mental acknowledgement of that. Perhaps she would have before their argument, but it's hard to say. Either way, it's clear that she maintains a distance.]

( There is a difference between the Nest and your brood. You'd be wise to remember that. )

[Prince's explanation of how he's survived this long is the foundation of these words. Lexa lives to live, to fight on for something truly selfish for the first time in her life, but she knows that there's a chance that she's on borrowed time.]