mental link / day 42

[ryohji]

[ Impatience is a hard ball in the lower half of his gut. In taking three beats to speak, it recedes to a manageable calm. Kaji will keep this short; for his sake, not theirs. ]

( If we fall asleep, don't let them take us back to the Station. We'd rather pass peacefully. I hope you all respect our wishes. )

[ Rust's mental presence is peripheral, an averted glance. Tinged with shame: ] ( Doesn't have to be peaceful, not for me. ) [ For a moment, a landscape stretches out—choked with green, night falling fast. Swallowing it up. The ground underfoot earth, asphalt, ice. ]

( So long as it's final. )

Comments

[redheadcarrier]

[ She'll understand. A part of her already does. She's already mourned him once and she'll do it again, if it comes to that. Mostly because she won't have any other choice. ]

( Isn't that just giving up? )

[ Grasping at straws. Had her own time asleep in that hospital bed been any different from the oblivion of death? ]

[ryohji]

( Giving up is letting other things control how you live, when you live. The symbiote... )

[ she knows how it is. she knows what it's like, beholden to an imperceptible thing, a soul or the symbiote, something she can never hope to touch even as its power designs to consume and control everything of hers. ]

( This way, someone can make their own choice, even if it's the last. )

[redheadcarrier]

( Choosing to die doesn't feel like a choice. )

[ Unspoken is the terror of the unknown. The fear of oblivion and the subsumption of the self to something she does not understand. ]

( I hope- )

[ That he doesn't have to make it (even if it's already made). That it never has to happen. And if does, will she actually fight for him? Will she follow his wishes?

Should she try? ]

) -that you don't go anywhere anytime soon. )