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mental link | day :020

[If Lexa had a choice, she would call for all of the Hosts to come meet her in the common area. But she hasn't had conversations with all of them, and she knows some of them will prove to be difficult when it comes to listening. One of them likely includes Rhys, who's her own broodmate. Then again, she likely brought that on herself by expecting him to ever be reasonable.

Just the same, she reaches out in the evening of the nineteenth day, believing that most of the Hosts will hear her. She only hopes that she's correct.]

( For those of you who I haven't formally introduced myself to, my name is Lexa. I don't like this means of communication much either, but it will prove necessary moving forward. We have been asked to at least grow comfortable with these ties so that we're more effective. I know that's a lot to ask, and I'm not certain that I'll be able to do that so easily myself. ) [In a way, this is an appeal to an audience. Her conversation with Cathaway before coming to this planet still weighs heavily over her, and she has an idea of which direction she hopes to take. But she'll get there in time.]

( I'm of the belief that all of us have become hopes because we hoped to live. Not all people believe in their survival, but we shed our previous lives to seek protection. But the threat against us remains, and while it might not be obvious or clear, it is that same threat, that same unnamed enemy that opposes us now. They want to prevent this world from reaching singularity, though I don't know why. The support for this anti-synthetic movement has escalated, and I think it would benefit us to seek out the reason why as we plan our future actions. We may be able to prevent some things that are in motion if we look in the right places.

Obviously, one place is Goram Saffit, but he is not the only person behind this. This shift in mindset has changed dramatically since we arrived, and I doubt that we are the cause. ) [Though they very well might be. Things escalated on the previous planet they visited.]

( I ask that we work together to find these things that may have led to this escalation. ) [It's a proposal, but it requires more action than reaction. She hopes it can help them, especially since it might offer them some answers about their enemy.]

( Secondly, after some deliberation, I've decided to share that I have a piece of technology in me that my people call the Flame. It is a device that biologically links in to my system, and offers me complete control while allowing me to speak to the individuals who held the Flame before. While my people believed this to be a spiritual entity, I realize now that it's a means to upload a person's mind and allow it to evolve and continue forward.

After viewing some of the technology of this world, I believe that the Flame could drastically improve their advancement toward singularity. I believe that a group like Mind Life should be able to help proceed in an ethical manner.

The Flame is something that only I can carry in my body because it will kill any other user, but I believe that by replicating it, we can help these people.

I am present in my room should anyone wish to speak without the use of our minds. )

[Yes, Lexa does love giving speeches. She closes the link for now.]

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[ Bellamy's eyes flick quickly over the walls, taking in the lingering modifications. He remembers how she'd dismissed it all so quickly the last time he'd stood in her doorway, doesn't know what to make of the fact that she's chosen to leave it up this time. Trust? Maybe. Yet another thing he doesn't want her to bestow upon him. ]

I wouldn't work with those corporations either.

[ Agreeing with her feels strange too, for the record. ]

They're taking advantage, [ Bellamy says slowly, though he's making a blanket statement, encompassing Humans and Humans 1st and Goram Saffit alike. ] People are already on edge. The bombing just escalated what the rallies were already starting.

[ And the rallies had built on what was already there, a part of human nature Bellamy was intimately acquainted with. ]

Giving Mind Life an edge with the Flame won't mean anything if we can't stop Humans and Humans 1st.

Edited (whoops) 2016-06-30 03:15 (UTC)

It won't, but it will help things down the line. We need to plan for the future, and if our enemy wants them to succeed, I believe it's likely that they are succeeding because of help. [It's what she would do, given the circumstances. She doesn't know if the movement got a jump start because the enemy wanted it, or if they interacted with Goram Saffit. It's hard to say. But what she does know is that she doesn't like what she sees, and she thinks it's not coincidental.

Treating things as if they aren't a coincidence is wise.]

Plus, it may give Mind Life leverage in negotiations. Carata said it may be a way of realizing people's fears, but I think it can also be an equalizer. As it has been for me and my people. [She excludes him from that definition for that phrase only because ... they haven't really benefited from the Flame.

Not yet.

Though it is (or was) protecting Clarke.]

So this is your way of backing the right side.

[ Or a side. Whether or not it's right remains to be seen. These days, Bellamy's a little more cautious when it comes to declaring unequivocally whether or not something is right or wrong. Or he's trying to be. ]

It might not be enough.

[ It hadn't been enough for Bellamy, in the heat of the moment, when Octavia and Clarke had both tried to reason with him. He doesn't want to divulge enough to make himself a cautionary tale, but he sees the places where this plan could be twisted and dragged down by the fears that have been stoked. ]

If they're getting help, we should make sure we can cut it off before we make a move like revealing the Flame.

[ Or just be sure that they're stable enough to protect Lexa, if that particular reveal went poorly. ]

The problem is that things have escalated too quickly. The ones who can help themselves have taken the very actions to make themselves more suspicious in the eyes of everyone who is waiting for an answer. Either way, I won't reveal the Flame at the next mission. We can buy ourselves time while we wait for a meeting with Mind Life.

[It may be enough time to seek the answer they need. That's what she hopes, at any rate. Lexa doesn't think the Flame will be enough, but securing this world's future without leading them down the same path as what exists in their world is important to her. It's one way of countering their enemy while making it difficult to reverse.]

Do you know where you might be headed? With the preliminary plans set, of course.

I'm not good at diplomacy.

[ Bellamy says it like a joke, though he's voicing what they both already know. He's better at it with Clarke and Kane flanking him, when they take the lead and he's there for support, for Clarke to bounce ideas off of in the aftermath. That rapport doesn't exist with Lexa, and Bellamy doesn't have any illusions about whether or not they can kindle it. He isn't even certain whether he wants anything near to that with Lexa. Sometimes it's still hard to look at her without feeling anger moving deep within him, like tectonic plates, impossible to ignore. ]

If they mean to try to get someone inside the Ven Diagram building, I can do that.

[ And hopefully, this attempt at infiltration and subterfuge would end with better success and less death than Mount Weather. ]

[Ideally, they could get one of them employed at Ven Diagrams, but Lexa knows that they don't have the time to do that. Besides, they would likely fail any security clearing that would be needed. But that's the limit of her knowledge on the matter.]

There will be others who intend to go. You won't be like you were with Mount Weather. But some of them will be rash, or can't be trusted. Keeping them from getting killed will be a priority.

[Rhys' face flashes in her mind, since she doubts he can do anything without fucking it up.]

[ Rhys. Bellamy's lips twitch, briefly amused. The animosity between the two of them is strange to Bellamy, who recognizes both sides of it. He doesn't comment, but his thoughts hum briefly with humor before the reality of the impending maneuver settles in. ]

I'm not going to let anyone get hurt while we do this.

[ He'll do better this time. ]

Rhys is interested in infiltrating?

[ Is he going to be a disaster? ]

[Ideally, they won't have to worry about anyone being hurt. Either way.]

I assume he is. He isn't inclined toward fighting, and he isn't ... competent when it comes to handling others. But he is technologically inclined.

[As for being a disaster, it's clear in how she tries to speak of him tactfully that she isn't able to manage it mentally. There's a certain tension there.

No, she doesn't trust Rhys to handle subterfuge particularly well. At all.]

[ Idealistic thoughts like that are Clarke's lot. Or they had been. Bellamy isn't sure if she can muster up the same fierce belief in such things anymore. It would be nice if they could pull off this particular plan without someone's life ending up in peril, but Bellamy isn't holding his breath waiting for that to come to pass. ]

We'll need that. [ Bellamy will, at least. ] We'll have to handle whatever shortcomings are attached to it.

[ There will be no Raven on the other end of a walkie to instruct him. He'll make do with Rhys. ]

Do you know who else is thinking of joining you?

[ Anyone else with promising thoughts, he means. Bellamy talks around the fact, but there's no denying she's more competent at picking up the ebb and flow of the nest, and perhaps at reading people full stop. ]

[In terms of the Nest, most of her read on the pulse of it comes from meeting people individually and getting a read on them. She doesn't like most of the people, but she knows who to trust. She also knows who present a danger while being untrustworthy.

She considers her next words carefully.]

Most of the people who don't fit an infiltration will be going. Some will be fighting. It'll be good that they're there and out of the way. But most of them aren't meant for work like this.

[They aren't scouts and they aren't trained. But that's the fault of the Nest and those who seem to be in charge of it.]

[ Bellamy isn't even sure he fits an infiltration, apart from his singular and disastrous experience in breaking into somewhere highly guard then blending in for days. But when the mission is split like this, with stealth on one side and strength on the other, it doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for decisions. ]

Is it always like this? When they send us places?

[ There's no frame of reference to draw from. Rhys hadn't even been able to tell him how long they'd been doing this before Bellamy had gotten here. It leaves him without enough to make any kind of judgement on what being a part of this nest will mean long-term, when Bellamy can spare a thought for it. ]

That's a question that's better for Carata or Nirad. [There's a pause as she recalls the sometimes strange nature of her conversation with the latter. He had been difficult to follow at best, and eccentric at worse. Neither of these things left the best impression on Lexa. It's not that she disliked him, but she doesn't think he's the best for answers.] More Carata than Nirad. They've been around far longer than me. This is only my second planet.

[Third if they count their home.

She doesn't.]

[ Maybe that's a better way to count than try to tally the days. Rhys had been unable to come up with a number for however long he'd been here, and Bellamy had found that more disheartening than he'd let on at the time. How long would this go on for? How long could he afford to be away?

Not that it mattered. The bargain he'd struck hadn't included a return ticket. ]

I haven't talked to them yet. When I arrived I didn't...

[ He hadn't wanted to talk to anyone. The Darkling had been enough of a distraction, their connection swelling in Bellamy's head. It was a mistake, he knows now. He's already prepared for Lexa to point it out. ]

I'll ask. Maybe before whatever happens is set in motion.

[The chastising never comes. Lexa hates relying on the older hosts, especially when their system of functioning is so removed from what she prefers. They are disorganized and scattered, and they have let go of parts of themselves in order to be efficient.

She doesn't like it. It's exactly what she fears about giving in, about how long they will be at this.]

Their information is useful. [Lexa seeing someone as useful is probably not surprising.] Though they know far less than they should. About everything. It makes me suspicious about both the Enemy we fear and our current situation.

[ Bellamy would have preferred...well, knowing their information is useful helps, but he knows less about these people than he should. Hoping to get information about them from Lexa might be a lost cause in the moment, though. ]

Or they know more than they're telling us.

[ Because of course Bellamy's skeptical. He doesn't see the reasoning behind withholding information, but he doesn't completely rule it out. ]

Do you trust them?

[ It's not a question he's asked yet. He can tell the Darkling doesn't trust anyone, and Clint's a wild card, still an unknown, but Lexa will at least have a measured answer for him. Right now, he'll trust her assessment of who their enemies are. ]

[After receiving what was essentially a lecture in trusting people from Clarke some time ago, she had never expected anyone else from their world to expect her too trust others. Then again, Bellamy doesn't know that she nearly tried to kill Octavia (and this is not a thought that surfaces: Lexa's trust issues are pretty far reaching).

For that reason, her answer should be nothing short of surprising—or will be in time, given that Bellamy will likely come to know her quite well due to their situation.]

I trust few. [It feels important to lay it out plainly.] Any of the Hosts who were here before us aren't among them. Among the other Hosts, there is you—[she doesn't pause on this reveal, though she knows it will be surprising just the same, as she doesn't trust his judgment skills, but she trusts him, and she can separate these two things just like she does with Indra]—and there is Angel. There are others I feel we could rely on if we needed, but I don't believe trust will serve us well here.

[No one has earned their trust. And given the inexperience and the lack of leadership, it seems as if they are determined to work in an endless cycle that can only inspire suspicion and conspiracy.

Among the right people, at least. She's seen how Ilde and Kylo Ren attach themselves to the Nest. Even Angel does the same thing. It worries her, but she believes the situation is meant to inspire that.]

[ Him. It's startling, and Bellamy's momentarily worried that he'll need to acknowledge that revelation substantially. Him and Angel. It's a very short list, but Bellamy's is no better. If he were to need assistance, it would be to her he'd reach first. She's a known quantity. Meanwhile the majority of their nestmates are strange to him, and some he's yet to meet apart from brief touches of their minds. It doesn't count. It's not enough to convince him he could put his life in their hands.

Not that he's so confident in Lexa, but as long as they're here and ostensibly working towards the same goal, he'll take her over anyone else. ]

Angel likes it here. She likes this.

[ He gestures between them, a haphazard illustration of the bond. Which isn't necessarily a mark against her, just an observation of something Bellamy doesn't quite understand about her. The ease with which she welcomes people into her mind is strange to him. ]

I don't think I trust any of them either. Yet. [ Magnanimous, though his trust is hard won these days. ] Some of them don't seem to be very good in groups either. I wouldn't take them with me at home.

She does. Her life before this one was one in which she thought she was an affliction upon that world. Here, she has choice, freedom, and isn't seen as a tool in her mind. [There's a sense that Lexa agrees with a part of that, but not all of it. There is another sense: that she knows Angel quite well. Building bonds is difficult for someone like Lexa. It's not that it can't happen quickly for her. It did for Clarke. But there has to be a conscious choice on her part.]

There are others who are dangerous. Kylo Ren and Ilde are the ones who come to mind. The former is ... weak, overly attached to Cathaway when he previous showed that he could be strong. He may have harmed one of my broodmates. Ilde killed a man just for threatening her on our first mission. She has struggled with understanding that the culture among us here is not her world back home. Her approach to things is defined by that struggle.

[Lexa knows that she is trying, but Ilde is almost inhuman to her at times, trying to bring herself together.]

I believe their broodmates keep them in check. Which is the same for Petre, who is not unlike many of your people in my experience. [Mouthy. Easily impressed by violence. Demanding. Entitled.]

[ Two names. Bellamy holds on to them, though he doesn't have anything to associate them with. She's warning him of a potential pitfall. It's difficult to avoid anyone, as connected as they all are, but he can at least attempt to tread carefully.

If Bellamy's capable of not making poor life choices for any significant amount of time. ]

They're liabilities.

[ Though the idea of harming other members of the brood makes him uneasy. It kicks against some deeply embedded instinct; Bellamy isn't sure whether he's always felt that or whether it's as new as the attachment he's harboring for Clint and the Darkling.

His expression brightens a little at mention of Petre, amused. ]

Petre's not so bad. [ Case and point. ] Is he...part of your brood?

[ Is it ever going to not feel weird to say that? ]

[There is a sense of affirmation that fills her at his conclusion. Yes, they are liabilities. Lexa has tried to guide Ilde, but it is difficult for her to fully grasp her perspective, and it's even harder with Kylo Ren. Before, he had seemed strong, but now he seems weak, dependent, as if he has nothing else to give to the Nest. That he changed her opinion so quickly is surprising, but she supposes that it shouldn't be. None of these people here know true strength.

Though some find ways to show it anyway.]

He's a part of Angel's. I've spoken to him to that end before. He's shown that he can be a liability, but it's one that has to be accepted.

[Angel has lost too much.]

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mental link | day :020

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